Try these 5 ways to practice mindfulness with your kids
By Jen Rose Smith, CNN
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Updated:
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Little children practice yoga indoors.
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During the COVID-19 pandemic, millions of workers transitioned to working from home all or part of the time. At its peak, about 35% of workers teleworked because of the pandemic. However, many jobs are not conducive to telecommuting—a fact that has been especially challenging for parents with kids living at home. Besides reduced flexibility in work location, workers who can’t telecommute also tend to earn less, which for parents, limits alternative childcare options.Data collected in 2018 by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) found that a majority of high-earning workers had the ability to work from home while the vast majority of workers with low wages did not have the option to work from home. It’s not surprising then that when the COVID-19 pandemic shut down in-person schools and childcare, the results were devastating for many low-wage families. A recent study by researchers at Northwestern University found that nearly 20% of working parents had to leave work or reduce their hours because of a lack of childcare options, and the study found significant income and gender disparities in the data. Whereas high-earners were more likely to be able to work from home or pay for at-home care, low-wage workers tended to lack either option.
By combining data from a recent University of Chicago study with statistics from the Census Bureau, researchers at CoPilot calculated that only about 32% of parents with children living at home work in remote-friendly occupations. While this is slightly higher than the percentage across all workers (29%), it still indicates that over two-thirds of parents lack the flexibility of at-home work. Interestingly, while working mothers are more likely than working fathers to hold remote-friendly jobs, they are also more likely to have left their job during the pandemic due to a lack of childcare—a trend that highlights the persistent impact of traditional gender roles in parenting decisions.
The prevalence of telecommuting among parents varies across the country and depends heavily on local economic conditions. Areas with large hospitality, retail, and agriculture sectors tend to have fewer remote-friendly jobs, while locations with high concentrations of technology, finance, legal, and education occupations tend to have more. At the state level, Nevada and Arkansas have the lowest shares of working parents in remote-friendly jobs at just 24.2% and 26.1%, respectively. In contrast, New Jersey and New Hampshire have the highest shares of working parents in remote-friendly jobs, at 37.8% and 36.4%, respectively.
To determine the locations where parents lack the ability to telecommute, CoPilot analyzed data from the U.S. Census Bureau as well as data from the University of Chicago. Metro areas were ranked by the share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs. Researchers also calculated the share of working mothers and fathers in remote-friendly jobs and the median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs and in non-remote friendly jobs.To improve relevance, only metropolitan areas with at least 100,000 people were included in the analysis. Additionally, metro areas were grouped into the following cohorts based on population size: Small metros: 100,000–349,999 Midsize metros: 350,000–999,999 Large metros: 1,000,000 or moreHere are the metros with the lowest shares of working parents in remote-friendly jobs.
Sean Pavone / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 31.8% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 35.1% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 28.2% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $55,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $40,300
Sean Pavone / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 31.4% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 37.5% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 26.4% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $70,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $40,000
Sean Pavone / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 31.1% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 34.5% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 27.8% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $55,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $45,500
MIHAI ANDRITOIU / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 31.1% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 37.3% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 24.8% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $62,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $48,000
Sean Pavone / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 30.8% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 36.8% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 24.2% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $55,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $40,000
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 30.3% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 39.5% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 23.1% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $61,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $45,000
Sean Pavone / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 30.3% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 35.2% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 25.8% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $50,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $36,000
Sean Pavone / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 30.1% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 36.1% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 24.6% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $52,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $39,000
Sean Pavone / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 29.7% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 34.9% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 24.9% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $50,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $35,000
Linda Parton / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 29.4% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 33.6% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 25.3% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $65,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $46,000
Sean Pavone / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 28.9% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 34.6% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 22.7% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $52,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $45,000
Sean Pavone / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 28.5% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 32.9% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 24.4% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $53,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $40,000
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 28.5% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 35.0% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 22.5% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $45,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $36,000
Jon Bilous / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 25.7% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 33.5% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 19.6% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $57,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $40,000
Andrew Zarivny / Alamy Stock Photo
Share of working parents in remote-friendly jobs: 24.6% Share of working moms in remote-friendly jobs: 28.9% Share of working fathers in remote-friendly jobs: 20.7% Median earnings of parents in remote-friendly jobs: $55,000 Median earnings of parents in non-remote-friendly jobs: $40,000
Back when Travis M. Spencer’s daughter was in fourth grade, there were times when she struggled to fall asleep. On those nights, Spencer used to take a few minutes for mindfulness.
First, Spencer invited her to list a few things she was grateful for. That usually included friends or a favorite video game.
“I’m like: ‘I’m glad that you’re noticing those things,'” said Spencer, a mindfulness educator and the executive director of the Institute of African American Mindfulness in Washington, D.C. “Let’s hold onto that feeling and that goodness you’re feeling right now. And maybe just take a breath or two as we’re falling asleep.”
Spencer’s work in mindfulness goes beyond the home. He trains teachers and students in practices designed to increase awareness of the present moment. It’s an approach that’s grown in recent years, with mindfulness programs appearing in classrooms and other education settings.
It helps develop their attention and focus, Spencer said, but also helps kids notice their feelings, physical sensations and the world around them. Such practices could help kids with anxiety, stress and other mental health issues, research shows.
“Mindfulness to me is like a superpower for children,” he said. “The more they can feel connected to themselves, to others and to their environment, the more they can thrive and feel supported, and feel like they can do whatever they want to do.”
“Modeling is key,” Kaiser Greenland said. “The true benefit of it is not just bringing in an outside mindfulness teacher like you bring in a piano teacher. Where it really starts is with the parent themselves.”
In fact, it can sometimes help for parents to experiment on their own first, Kaiser Greenland said. (You can begin right now with one of these five 1-minute mindfulness techniques.)
Or you can make it a shared endeavor. We’ve got five great ways to practice mindfulness with your children — and Kaiser Greenland said it’s never too early (or too late) to start.
1. Try mindful breathing
Breathing is among the most common mindfulness practices. Often, mindful breathing means choosing one sensation — such as the breath in your nostrils or the rise and fall of your chest — and bringing your attention there.
You can try it for 30 seconds or five minutes. When you get distracted, simply redirect your attention back to the sensation of breath.
With children young enough to have stuffed animals and dolls, Kaiser Greenland recommends a simple breathing practice using a favorite toy.
“They have the stuffed animal on their tummy or on their chest, or someplace where they can really feel the movement of breathing,” she said. “Focus in on that sensation of moving the animal up and down with their breathing. That’s a wonderful bedtime ritual.”
2. Take a gratitude walk
You don’t have to sit still to practice mindfulness, said Kaiser Greenland, who recommends inviting kids to join you for a “gratitude walk.”
It’s something you can try inside or in a peaceful place outside. With your gaze on the ground, simply take slow steps. With every footfall, think of something that you’re grateful for.
“It could just be a walk from the kitchen sink to the dining room table and back,” she said. If you’re doing a mindfulness walk with a younger child, ask them to share their gratitude out loud.
“With every step we say something we’re grateful for. I’m grateful for macaroni and cheese, I’m grateful for my puppy, I’m grateful for you, that sort of thing,” Kaiser Greenland said. For older kids and adults, the gratitude can be spoken silently if they choose.
3. Shake it off
If your kid is feeling restless, Kaiser Greenland said, it can help to try something even more active.
“First thing you need to do is release some nervous energy,” she said. “If you toggle between movement and stillness, that has a more grounding effect.”
Kaiser Greenland recommends alternating a minute of movement with a few minutes of stillness. “You just shake to the sound of a beat of a drum, or you shake your arm then shake your leg,” she said.
After that, it’s time to bring your child’s attention to the sensations in their body or things in the immediate environment. “Feel your breathing. Listen to a sound. You feel your feet against the floor,” she said. “Then you shake again.”
4. Practice noticing
While many mindfulness practices involve looking inward, it’s a perspective you can bring to observing the world around you, too.
“If a child is having a hard time, I might ask them to find three blue objects in the room they’re sitting in,” said Spencer, the mindfulness educator. “Just to give them something external to focus on. That way, they can downshift their nervous system a little bit.”
Noticing is a mindfulness practice adults and children can try together, wherever they are. It doesn’t have to be visual.
Sometimes, Spencer will invite children to listen to the most distant sound they can identify. Then, he’ll shift the focus to sounds in the middle distance. Finally, kids tune into sound in their immediate surroundings.
“Connecting to their senses in that way, I think, is really supportive,” he said. “It’s really focused on that self-awareness, and building the capacity to pay attention.”
5. Stream a guided meditation
Trying out mindfulness doesn’t have to be complicated, but it’s nice to have help as you start to explore. That’s where guided meditations come in, a wide range of mostly free recordings that walk you through mindfulness step by step.
Kaiser Greenland narrates a series of guided audio meditations and exercises for children, designed for specific purposes including quieting, focusing and caring. Children’s mindfulness expert and author Annaka Harris also has a free series of mindfulness meditations to try with kids.
“If you’re a beginner, it’s great to be guided,” said Diana Winston, director of mindfulness education at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center. “You have some support and learn how to do it correctly.”(The free UCLA Mindful App has guided meditations that Winston helped develop.)
Winston, who has practiced meditation for decades, believes mindfulness practices can be enormously helpful to children. She cites stress reduction, attention building, improved test scores and social-emotional learning as key benefits.
But research into mindfulness for children, she said, has a long way to go.
“If the research is young with adults, it’s significantly younger with children,” said Winston, who is the author of books including “The Little Book of Being: Practices and Guidance for Uncovering Your Natural Awareness.”
“It seems to be very positive, but it’s not like we should immediately say mindfulness is going to solve all the problems of our failing school systems. It’s not like that.” Not only that, Winston said that mindfulness practices aren’t for every family.
“It’s a wonderful tool that can be useful and helpful,” she said. “Just like there’s no medication that works for everybody. It’s the same for meditation. Some people really respond to it and love it, and others don’t find it helpful. And that’s absolutely fine.”